I received the following email today from my dad:


Good Morning Sarah,
    I know you don't want to hear it, but there will be no daily log. My depression is much stronger than I am. I'm tired of all these dreams I have only to lose out to the depression. I know that I will never be able to move out of this area and will never be able to focus on my health. Everytime I get a good start, something happens and I sink back into a deep depression. I seriously cannot handle anymore setbacks or failures. For now I am working on getting my weight down and maybe get some jogging in. I'm not going to think about the pressures of the spring marathons. If it happens, great. If not, it is just another failure and I will except it. For now it is day to day, crappy weather and no future in sight. Hope you can understand and not get on my case about it. There is nothing that can be done.
    I had to let you know why you are not getting a daily log. Sorry I started your day off with negative news.
    Love you,
       Dad

I'm going to call him and tell him that I love him.  It sounds like he's very down right now and like he said, there's nothing that can be done.  That's how his depression is.  I don't think there's anything anyone could say right now to make him feel any better.  At least his note didn't sound completely hopeless though.  He did make it seem like the marathon may still happen.


Originally I had said that if it got to a point where I felt my dad was giving up on running the Oakland Marathon that I would tell him that I am planning on running it with him as a way to maybe motivate him to keep trying.  I don't think this is the time though, it's too early.


I met with my Team In Training mentor today to talk about my fundraising plan and answer any questions I have about that or training.  We have our kickoff event this coming Saturday.  That will be the official start to my training and I'm really looking forward to that.


I am really determined to make this work.  I know my dad has a lot of regrets in life and there are things that he wants to do now that he's not able to because of his depression.  I do not have any diseases or illnesses that would prevent me from doing this so I want to do it for us both.  Hopefully we will be at the start line together on March 28, 2010 with our numbers on ready to run 26.2 miles.  

Thank you for reading this...you are part of my journey.  And thank you so much to those of you that have been emailing me and/or posting your comments in support of what I'm doing.  I really appreciate it.